there must be something in the way i feel

 

can't take it, can't imagine.

i don't want to participate in any of this.

 

 

the problem was, she had a little black book

 

nothing really matters, not even today, no matter how hard i try.

i don't want anything. i don't need to experience anything more.

i felt good things. i felt bad. i felt love, i felt passion.

i don't want to be a part of this world, amongst people.

i don't fit and this does not suit me. 

i'm all alone again. and i will be till the end of my (hope short) days.

as i sat sadly

 everyday facts make me sad. people change. feelings change.

and i'm all alone in this. maybe i'm not, but i feel so.

and i don't feel comfortable with myself. not today for sure.

will think about it afternoon. but i feel lost. and i am.

nothing can do to keep

i could never love again. he's the only one for me.

 there is nothing i can do to keep from crying.

 

 

i need more now, i want more now

 

 i'm only waiting for the change. but while everything is changing, this thing is unchangeable.

i'm too sad to breathe or live.

 

 

forever not

 i again need to accept. accept what is going on. accept that everything is changing.

accept that eveything happens for a reason. accept that everyone has a right to feel what they feel.

accept that every moment is fleeting. every moment ends right away. and i will not be the one beloved.

it's just so hard to accept, seems impossible. even when i'm telling it myself.

no more reasons. everything is the past. it's too sad.

some windows

 

 only the acceptance. the acceptance of rejection. the most painful, but only this one can save you.

accept facts. people go. and it is not your fault. everything changes. nothing lasts too long.

the lesson is to accept changes. accept changing. accept that you cannot change any of the feelings.

different time, different place - i'm sure.

but for now, only the accaptance. you did your best. and you always do. be yourself and accept.